I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
