she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize