I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
