I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
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