going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize