At least make sure they are 18
I need help removing her.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?