I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize