You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious