Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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