I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize