My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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