last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize