Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
is that a dick in a sweater?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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