Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
