everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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