Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
