I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
