Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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