3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
