remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
