Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
