I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
