Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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