What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
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If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
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Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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