I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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