So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Randomize
