Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
