great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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