i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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