Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
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