you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
