No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
