You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
