Sponge bath it is.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize