it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
