haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize