I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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