Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
