Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
