the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
