So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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