I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
