he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize