yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
