I just saw a hot homeless man
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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