i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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