He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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