Your tits are I can't wait for
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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