it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
