he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
