capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
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My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
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Naked. naked and bneed help.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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