I accidentally burped into my bong.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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