I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
