My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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