NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
