If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
