i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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