So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
