Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
