Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
