His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
