Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
50% drunk capacity currently
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
