On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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